How do you describe depression?
Sadness, anxious, crying, seclusion, craziness?
It’s hard to describe depression to someone that doesn’t have it. It’s just something that you cannot fully understand if you do not have it. It’s indescribable, but between 2 depressed people, it’s fully understood.
Things people with depression immediately understand:
- Feeling like you’re dying an excruciatingly LONG death.
- You’re in a continuous war that has no end.
- You’re a burden to your friends, family, and everyone.
- You would be doing your friends, family, and everyone a service if you weren’t alive anymore.
- Wanting to stay in bed all day, every day
- It’s too much trouble to eat, brush your teeth, shower.
- Not being able to sleep, but sleeping too much.
- Being tired of being tired
- Just not caring at all about anything
- Not knowing the person in the mirror
For someone without depression, it’s just hard to imagine these things. Why would someone not shower? That’s disgusting! Why do you feel like a burden to your friends and family? They’re there to help you. How in the world can you stay in bed ALL day after day?
So you do not have depression, but you’re saying you get these things. You’re thinking ‘I could stay in bed all day after having a really bad week at work’. You’re thinking ‘I’m not asking my family to help me pay my house note’. You’re thinking ‘Sometimes I get tired of being tired’. These feelings are normal. You know what? You’re totally right. These feelings are totally normal.
What isn’t totally normal though is having these feelings day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year.
Depression is the hardest thing that I’ve ever had to face in my life. I fell out of a moving vehicle and had to have gravel scrubbed out of my skin. I have buried my best friend at the age of 19. I gave birth to my children naturally. Nothing compares to living with depression. This is a chronic disease. There’s no cure for it. Medicine and therapy only help to a degree. It’s like an autoimmune disorder. My heart and brain are fighting each other. My heart tells me that I’m not a good enough mother/wife, I’ll never reach my goals, and I’m causing so many problems for my family. My brain tells me that I’m a great mother to my children and an awesome wife, that one day I’ll be able to get a new car and have a nice house, and that my family is here to help me through this. It’s a daily battle as to which organ wins.
This daily battle is why people with depression just want to feel numb, feel nothing at all; this is why people with depression want to just not think, just don’t care. This is why people commit suicide. This continuous, daily, never-ending battle going on inside of them. The heart killing the brain, and the brain killing the heart.
What is depression?
It’s… it’s… it’s… it just is.